Power Through

Last week Chloe and I had to go to St Paul Hospital pharmacy to drop off a few things. We had not been there since Austin passed. We exited off the highway and Chloe says “there’s Austie’s doctor”, I said yes…..”She said “where the blankets?” Her memory of going to Austin’s doctor was when we dropped off the Blankets for Babies. This is what she remembers, not the silent car rides, tears, and anxiety to and from this place…..But she remembers the result of the charity event. How happy my heart was at that moment. Chloe when you read this someday I hope you understand how much of a gift you are. Austin will always be “perfect” in our memory. But you are the very core of us. You are the glue, and the structure. You are perfect. You were sent to us by God Himself to help us. Your dad and I are so proud of you.

                We are starting to find some rhythm here. We have boot camp 3 days a week. We go to church and brunch every Sunday. I have recently reunited with some amazing friends. I love these women. They are loving mothers, adoring wives, leaders, comedians, voices of reason, boundless energy, and inspiration. I could go on and on. God has guided these women into my life. I went to 8 schools by the time I graduated high school. I did not maintain relationships with people because I knew it was just a matter of time before I would move again. I was conditioned to have acquaintances, never friends. Now I have friends. Selfless loving friends and it fills my heart. I cant help but feel that Austin had a hand in this. I am feeling positive. I am taking my pain and turning into something strong and raw and unstoppable. There is a lyric from a Macklemore song…..”Change the game, don’t let the game change you……” Life is a game and I am changing mine.

With encouraged Love,

Austin's Mom