Thankful.........even though

I am thankful I got to hold you in my arms, even when you were seizing. I am thankful I got to snuggle your warm huge cheeks, even though they were stained with port-wine birthmarks. I am thankful I got to smell your sweet baby smell, even though it had hints of the 7 seizure medicines. I am thankful that I captured your first smile on camera, even though you had a feeding tube taped to your face. I am thankful for your dark chocolate brown eyes, even though the glaucoma eventually clouded them. I am thankful your sister Chloe got to spend time with you, even though her heart breaks about not remembering. I am thankful you taught me to fight for you, and now I have the skills to fight for a healthy life for myself and our family. I am thankful I see you in some way every.single.day. I am thankful you had one of your first seizures in front of the Director of Childrens Neurology at Children's Hospital. I am thankful that people live differently because of your life. I am thankful people will still listen to our story and want to know about you. I am thankful people still ask about you. I am thankful for those nurses and those doctors. I am thankful God gave me a love of writing so I can tell as many people about you. I am thankful to those who never met you, Austin, but still pray and ride this crazy journey with us. I am thankful for new person I am because of you. I am thankful, but hurting. It is all so bitter-sweet. All of it.